LEADER

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Why does the word “leader” evoke such a range of emotions within us? Check in with yourself: What are the visceral mental, emotional, and physical responses to the word “leader” in your own body?

Our cultual moment has a conflicted relationship with the role of the leader. There is a shared sentiment of suspicion of those, and often warranted desire to dethrone, whose desire to lead is to lord over others for their own glory and gain. But there is also an honest longing looking for exemplars, mentors, and guides to follow. The undercurrent of admiration for those willing to risk stepping into the headwinds of change crashes against the rocks of our reality.

I borrowed, and of course then alliterated, the wisdom of J.R. Briggs on what is a leader. Leaders bear pain, build trust, and bring hope. It may be reductionistic, but it begins to frame what a leader is willing to do, whatever context they are leading in. Leaders will carry the weight of responsibility, they will do the relational work for the collective win, and they will hold on to a view of the horizon that lies beyond them. They bear pain, build trust, and bring hope.

As I consider what has it required for me to be a leader working in and with faith communities over the last 30 years, I believe it has been the willingness to go first, fail forward, and create space for others. To lead is to go first, which is not to be confused with putting yourself in the first place. Going first may be speaking least or eating last. To lead is to step into the unknown. The unknown is where all fear resides. Leading requires the resolve to look and lean over the ledge. This is the definition of courage, writes Brene Brown. “Courage requires the willingness to lean into uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. If we can’t handle uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure in a way that aligns with our values we can’t lead.” To lead is to steward our power on behalf of others. It is acknowledging we have some degree of platform and privilege, and choosing to leverage what we have for the sake of others. A leader believes in the power of generative hospitality. They are committed to create space for others to grow and flourish.

I recently read if you want to know who the leader is, don’t look around the room for the person with the title. Instead, watch everyone’s eyes. When the question is asked, “What are we going to do?” Where the eyes of the group go is the leader in the room. I believe every person finds themselves at some point with the eyes of the room on them. The invitation in that moment is to be the leader.

Jared Ray Mackey

HOPE IS THE THING WITH FEATHERS

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“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -
And sings the tune without the words -
And never stops - at all -

And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard -
And sore must be the storm -
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -
And on the strangest Sea -
Yet - never - in Extremity,
It asked a crumb - of me.

Emily Dickinson

FOR THE TME OF NECESSARY DECISION

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The mind of time is hard to read.
We can never predict what it will bring,
Nor even from all that is already gone
Can we say what form it finally takes;
For time gathers its moments secretly.
Often we only know it’s time to change
When a force has built inside the heart
That leaves us uneasy as we are.

Perhaps the work we do has lost its soul
Or the love where we once belonged
Calls nothing alive in us anymore.

We drift through this gray, increasing nowhere
Until we stand before a threshold we know
We have to cross to come alive once more.

May we have the courage to take the step
Into the unknown that beckons us;
Trust that a richer life awaits us there,
That we will lose nothing
But what has already died;
Feel the deeper knowing in us sure
Of all that is about to be born beyond
The pale frames where we stayed confined,
Not realizing how such vacant endurance
Was bleaching our soul’s desire.

John O’Donohue

COURAGE IS HEARTBREAK

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Human beings are constantly trying to take courageous paths in their lives: in their marriages, in their relationships, in their work and with themselves. But the human way is to hope that there's a way to take that courageous step—without having one's heart broken. And it's my contention that there is no sincere path a human being can take without breaking his or her heart. 

There is no marriage, no matter how happy, that won't at times find you wanting and break your heart. In raising a family, there is no way to be a good mother or father without a child breaking that parental heart. In a good job, a good vocation, if we are sincere about our contribution, our work will always find us wanting at times. In an individual life, if we are sincere about examining our own integrity, we should, if we are really serious, at times, be existentially disappointed with ourselves. 

So it can be a lovely, merciful thing to think, "Actually, there is no path I can take without having my heart broken, so why not get on with it and stop wanting these extra-special circumstances which stop me from doing something courageous?" 

David Whyte