WISDOM ON LEADING WELL

We said, “Take the gloves off, Dallas. Tell us what we really need to hear.” We had read all of Dallas’ books and been deeply impacted by them—not least by his latest, The Divine Conspiracy. But Brian had just finished presenting some thoughts on new models of leadership—leaders marked not so much by conquest and technique, but by spiritual goodness and wisdom. And so we sat there, slumped pensively in our chairs, until someone finally said, “Dallas...please talk to us about how we become those kind of people.” So, during a break, Dallas began listing some of his thoughts on a whiteboard. And then in his gracious, careful way, he challenged us to become the kind of leaders this world so desperately needs. The following is some of what he told us.

1. People are constantly looking for methods.
God is looking for men. Methods are often temporary, but what God is looking for is a life. God is far less interested in your results than the person you are becoming. Many people in our life have tried to substitute results for what they lacked: joy, relationship, character. This part of your existence is a very short part of all of it, and probably you will not be a pastor in the next part.

2. You must be a person who doesn’t need his job, who finds his personal sufficiency in God.
If you don’t have this one down, you will drive yourself nuts. You will be torn between pleasing people and pleasing God. You will be torn between your own integrity and what people who don’t understand are saying about you. You won’t be able to lead like this. You will find yourself caught between two different driving forces, and your only resource is an internal sufficiency before the Lord.

3. In order to carry that out, you have to have a strategy for constant renewal.
Start by looking at what has strengthened you in the past and cultivate that. Don’t regard such activities as peripheral, but central. Of course, I’ve written a whole book on spiritual disciplines, but I think we all know what to do. Sometimes this will mean giving up sleep, and sometimes strengthening yourself may mean getting enough sleep.

4. You need things that are not directly a part of your ministry that give you a kind of rootedness.
These could, of course, include things that would help you in your ministry. For example, if you love literature, your love of words will help you speak and write. Powerful language is one of the greatest benefits to a minister. I’ve watched for decades how ministers who can really use language will know how to say things in a way that people who are not as adept with words cannot. Part of that, of course, is knowing the language of the Bible. Memorize it. Soak it in. Make it a part of your whole life. That will be in itself a strategy for personal renewal.

5. Write.
Not to publish, but write. Writing is one of the surest ways to hone your sense of what you are saying. You must be able to say things with force and clarity. Write out your sermons—even if you don’t use the manuscript. Write out your thoughts. Copy things out of books. One of your greatest assets in church planting is the power of your words. People are desperate to hear something good.

6. Know your Bible.
Generally speaking, seminary training does not make people adept in working with the Bible. Your life and your Bible should start forming a seamless whole. Wear out your Bible. Read it in large stretches, and repeatedly. Read the New Testament in one go. Set aside time so that you can read through the New Testament five times in one week. Take notes, because you will get stuff that will be life-giving.

7. Don’t pretend anything.
Eliminate pretending from your repertoire. That will be wonderfully helpful in becoming the kinds of leaders the world desperately needs. We often pretend we are interested in things we are not, for example, or that we know things we don’t know. One of the lies commonly told in my university context is, “Oh yes, I’ve read that book.” We may pretend to have accomplished things we haven’t accomplished. We can be evasive. To be “an Israelite in whom there is no guile” is a great strength in the battle of life. Actually, people will forgive you many things they might otherwise get mad at you about if you are guileless.

I have a three step plan for humility:
a. never pretend
b. never presume
c. never push.

Most of the things that we try to accomplish go according to the saying: “Things that can be pulled can’t be pushed, and things that can be pushed can’t be pulled.” Most of what we’re doing can’t be pushed; it has to be drawn out at the appropriate time.

8. Listen to your critics.
Proverbs says, “Rebuke a wise man and he’ll love you for it.” Listen not with the attitude, “I don’t deserve this, they’re dead wrong.” Lay it down and just listen, see what you can learn. Practice walking off without reply.

What goes along with this is, don’t defend yourself. Now, sometimes you need to explain yourself. But this is a fine line. If you are actually doing this to help the person, you are not defending yourself. When we are in a ministry that is going through change, then we do need to help people. But to defend yourself is hopeless. You have a Defender and you let him do his job.

9. Grow in making distinctions for people.
For example, I believe we should never be in a hurry. But sometimes we should act quickly. Acting quickly is a form of action. Being in a hurry is a state of mind. Another example: When talking about spiritual disciplines, one of my slogans that I use to help people with the difference between works and grace is that “Grace is not opposed to effort, it is opposed to earning. Earning is an attitude; effort is an action.” It’s very important to help people grasp these distinctions, and often once you state them for people, it can be like a flash of insight for them.

10. Identify what you admire, and stay with it.
What do you think is really good in your work, and in others that you know? No matter what it is—and it will often be associated with someone who you think is really doing that particular thing well—stick with it. Vacillation hurts us very badly in relation to our success as ministers. Find what’s good in your work and stick with it and make it better.

For example, if you find some topic that is especially helpful, don’t just take one shot at it and drop it. Develop it. Certainly that’s true of much that I have written. I have never asked to publish a book; they’ve all come because people have heard of what I’ve said. Richard Foster’s and my work on disciplines all came out of a half-page outline that I did in the late 1960s, and we just started working on it.

Originally published in Cutting Edge magazine, Summer 1999. A publication of Vineyard USA.
Also published in 2016 as Chapter 38 of Renewing The Christian Mind (HarperOne Publishers).

LEADER

Why does the word “leader” evoke such a range of emotions within us? Check in with yourself: What are the visceral mental, emotional, and physical responses to the word “leader” in your own body?

Our cultual moment has a conflicted relationship with the role of the leader. There is a shared sentiment of suspicion of those, and often warranted desire to dethrone, whose desire to lead is to lord over others for their own glory and gain. But there is also an honest longing looking for exemplars, mentors, and guides to follow. The undercurrent of admiration for those willing to risk stepping into the headwinds of change crashes against the rocks of our reality.

I borrowed, and of course then alliterated, the wisdom of J.R. Briggs on what is a leader. Leaders bear pain, build trust, and bring hope. It may be reductionistic, but it begins to frame what a leader is willing to do, whatever context they are leading in. Leaders will carry the weight of responsibility, they will do the relational work for the collective win, and they will hold on to a view of the horizon that lies beyond them. They bear pain, build trust, and bring hope.

As I consider what has it required for me to be a leader working in and with faith communities over the last 30 years, I believe it has been the willingness to go first, fail forward, and create space for others. To lead is to go first, which is not to be confused with putting yourself in the first place. Going first may be speaking least or eating last. To lead is to step into the unknown. The unknown is where all fear resides. Leading requires the resolve to look and lean over the ledge. This is the definition of courage, writes Brene Brown. “Courage requires the willingness to lean into uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. If we can’t handle uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure in a way that aligns with our values we can’t lead.” To lead is to steward our power on behalf of others. It is acknowledging we have some degree of platform and privilege, and choosing to leverage what we have for the sake of others. A leader believes in the power of generative hospitality. They are committed to create space for others to grow and flourish.

I recently read if you want to know who the leader is, don’t look around the room for the person with the title. Instead, watch everyone’s eyes. When the question is asked, “What are we going to do?” Where the eyes of the group go is the leader in the room. I believe every person finds themselves at some point with the eyes of the room on them. The invitation in that moment is to be the leader.

Jared Ray Mackey

VOCATION

It comes from the Latin vocare, to call, and means the work a man is called to by God.  

There are all different kinds of voices calling you to all different kinds of work, and the problem is to find out which is the voice of God rather than of Society, say, or the Super-ego, or Self-Interest.  

By and large a good rule for finding out is this. The kind of work God usually calls you to is the kind of work (a) that you need most to do and (b) that the world most needs to have done. If you really get a kick out of your work, you've presumably met requirement (a), but if your work is writing TV deodorant commercials, the chances are you've missed requirement (b). On the other hand, if your work is being a doctor in a leper colony, you have probably met requirement (b), but if most of the time you're bored and depressed by it, the chances are you have not only bypassed (a) but probably aren't helping your patients much either. 

Neither the hair shirt nor the soft berth will do. The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet. 

Frederick Buechner

- Originally published in Wishful Thinking

FOR A LEADER

May you have the grace and wisdom
To act kindly, learning
To distinguish between what is
Personal and what is not.

May you be hospitable to criticism.
May you never put yourself at the center of things. 

May you act not from arrogance but out of service.

May you work on yourself, 
Building up and refining the ways of your mind.

May those who work for you know
You see and respect them. 

May you learn to cultivate the art of presence 
In order engage with those who meet you. 

When someone fails or disappoints you,
May the graciousness with which you engage
Be the stairway to renewal and refinement. 

May you treasure the gifts of the mind
Through reading and creative thinking
So that you continue as a servant of the frontier
Where the new will draw its enrichment from the old,  
And you never become a functionary. 

May you know the wisdom of deep listening,
The healing of wholesome words,
The encouragement of the appreciative gaze,
The decorum of held dignity,
The springtime edge of the bleak question. 

May you have a mind that loves frontiers, 
So that you can evoke the bright fields
That lie beyond the view of the regular eye. 

May you have good friends
To mirror your blind spots. 

May leadership be for you
A true adventure of growth.

John O’Donohue
To Bless the Space Between Us

FOR THE ONE WHO HOLDS POWER

May the gift of leadership awaken in you as a vocation,
Keep you mindful of the providence that calls you to serve.
As high over the mountains the eagle spreads its wings,
May your perspective be larger than the view from the foothills.

When the way is flat and dull in times of gray endurance,
May your imagination continue to evoke horizons.
When thirst burns in times of drought,
May you be blessed to find the wells.
May you have the wisdom to read time clearly
And know when the seed of change will flourish.

In your heart may there be a sanctuary
For the stillness where clarity is born.
May your work be infused with passion and creativity
And have the wisdom to balance compassion and challenge.

May your soul find the graciousness
To rise above the fester of small mediocrities.
May your power never become a shell
Wherein your heart would silently atrophy.
May you welcome your own vulnerability
As the ground where healing and truth join.

May integrity of soul be your first ideal.
The source that will guide and bless your work.

John O’Donohue